The Victim! Really?

And one day I witnessed an advertisement - a shopping kart doing the flip – I quiet liked the idea! And I went back time and again to view that flipping kart - and slowly the books started trickling in. I had finally managed to back  stab the famous Janta Book Store( how I disliked  the ‘I know it all’  straight faced owner )  From Edward de Bono and  Sigmund Freud to Eoin Colfer and Thea Stilton all came home neatly packed in brown and blue. And that too at a discounted offer. I was satiated. Technology at its best – at least for now ( still waiting for that day when technology goes wireless!) The stories of e-bay were turning into reality in this part of the world.

Amazon made its entry into the Indian market with its logo smiling  at me. I smiled right back  and ‘shopped’ in my pyjamas. What fascinated me most was those wooden racks and shelves - those teeny tiny sets of 3 and 4 shelves that made a statement in your living room. I bought them just  to realise that Rahul did not quite fancy  them( the only thing he fancies is his job!). The hotel carpenter had to be brought home with Bosch drills and frills to get the job done. Those clumsy looking pieces went on the wall one by one and I wanted more. So I went  back perusing pages and pages of shelves  with my virtual kart in tow. Herb knives  and potato peelers and pretty kitchen gadgets brought out the scissor hands chef in me.  I gift shopped as I zoomed around the house.   Perusing through the perfumerie – I could not bring myself to trust these guys – so I played safe or so I thought. As Christmas drew near I ordered some Italian Christmas milk mugs to be delivered to my folks at home–  they did not deliver my pre- paid  gifts. They  botched up my daughter’s shirt size too. So the hate mails commenced till I gave up. The gifts were not delivered and the money was lost and I did what girls do best -  vowed never to shop with Amazon. So much for my playing safe. Amazon with that big smiley managed to wipe the smile off my face.  But wait..

By then Flipkart was selling more than just books. The Bansal brothers were millionaires as the unsure guilty feminine fingers clicked at the Wish Lists and the Add to Carts  – almost making then billionaires overnight. Viveka wanted bean boozles, Siddharth wanted more books and  I just wanted to shop -garden décor, kitchen garden seeds, coco peat, hairspray, comics, ukelele  and what not! Snapdeal – the underdog ! I was kind of prophetic about this portal. Superbdealz – they were  prophetic about me I guess – they swindled me with a fake Louis Vuitton tote and left me poorer by a whopping 5 figure never to be seen again. Even Sherlock Holmes would have  given up  - they vanished into thin air. So much for the smart shopper in me!

It is like a game of poker.

The sellers' gallery can be  misleading – very much so. The  virtual elegant Benetton tee  will looks like a hand me down night wear in real . It is  too late or you must have that energy to do that ‘return dance’ My love for turquoise is illogical and I gave in yet once more- to my horror  to get a pair of parrot green  Dorothy Perkins  wedges from Jabong. Jabong – could someone have christened this portal better? I was ready for a kill.The return policy can sap you of your energy and motivation to carry on with life. – the nightmare vocabulary if your judgement have failed you – terms and conditions( if you have not read them ! anyways who reads them), undelivered ( your books have gone back ! ),  do not remove the tags ( you  get to keep it  forever, if you have ), pick up

( the delivery guy gives you the sneer as you hand him the dishevelled packet) and the cash back ( you will get it if you are  lucky and persuasive enough). After the 'Lewis Witton' buy I have worked on  my persuasive skills and I magage to get that credit beep from my bank. Yay! Yet again, it is my game. Until the next buy.

Claudia Joshi

2,August 2017